All tagged rest
After about 16 months in bed, I’d simply watched all the TV there was to watch. Everything I was interested in, anyway. And so I went in search of something. Something soothing. Something hopeful. Something that would help me forget the pain, fatigue, and isolation of chronic illness. Something that would give me hope.
A few years ago I began a journey to embrace my own humanity, to heal, and come to terms with myself. I wanted to discover who the hell I actually am and what it is that I truly want and need in order to thrive. I did this work for myself, first, and also with the conviction that it would benefit my children, family, and community.
Motherhood is harder than it has to be.
Motherhood is more painful than it has to be.
Motherhood is lonelier than it has to be.
Motherhood is more complicated than it has to be.
As I started to feel better, the guilt and shame crept in. How dare I enjoy any of this? I beat it back by reminding myself that I was doing this today so that I could work for the rest of the week. And then I paused and wondered - what the hell is so wrong with just wanting things?
You’ve heard it, you’ve seen the memes, you may have even seen it on a billboard, a napkin, or the cover of a planner: We all have the same 24 hours.
It’s a lie.
It sounds good. It sounds true. And in the most basic sense, distilled of all context and nuance it is true. There are 24 hours in a day and if you live through the entire day you have lived through 24 hours.
Still a lie.
If we didn’t want to escape we’d have no art, no music, no stories, and a lot less creation. And whether my escape is a Netflix marathon, a bath, a book, an album, or a night in a hotel room - it is valid and is part of living a healthy life. It’s not necessarily a symptom of a problem.
